For immediate release
This is a public service announcement from the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta. It is one of a series of articles about psychological issues of interest to the general public.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LIVING WELL!
We all want a piece of the good life! Depending on our life experiences, age, goals, values and culture, we may have different ideas about what that good life is.
Let’s take Samantha and Janet, for example. Both are mothers of young children. Samantha has chosen to stay home with her children until they enter school – despite considerable financial cost. That’s just what matters to her! Janet, on the other hand, feels she has worked too hard to put her career on hold for such a lengthy time, and that being at home all day without adult conversation would certainly do her in!
Then there’s Cindy, who would like to be able to stay at home, but can’t. She has no financial resources past regular maternity, and struggles to keep herself upbeat as she leaves her baby every day to go do “somebody else’s” work!
Click to another scenario. Jack and Sarah have been married for 25 years. They find themselves fighting more and more about the same old thing – money and sex. They are faced with the reality that they can’t take the conflict anymore! They have to decide whether they’re going to work on the marriage and get at the root of these power struggles, or whether they are to go their separate ways.
In our workplaces and communities, we face these same dilemmas every day. How many times have we heard people complain about how untrustworthy politicians are, not stopping long enough to consider those people have a human side and need not be the focus of our every expectation? And yes, the same can be said of bosses – that they could do a better job sometimes of understanding what really motivates us to work for them!
Sometimes, getting our piece of the good life just seems to get further away! We envy our friends who seem to be able to get the good job, have the pleasant kids and take that holiday every year. We admire those who get off the fast track, but don’t see ourselves doing that any time soon! We convince ourselves that high stress is just a reality of life! The best we can do is cope, get to yoga, say “no” more often!
Coping is good! So is yoga and saying “no” when something doesn’t feel right. The point is, they may not be enough to get our lives going in the direction we want. Life dilemmas are just that – more chances to work toward what we want our lives to be like. But there is a catch! We have to be willing to let go of what is no longer working, and make deliberate choices to live differently—this could mean a change of an attitude, a belief, a feeling, a value, or a course of action!
For example, we want to have more equality and closeness in our relationships, but get trapped into old defense patterns where neither one ends up feeling understood. We blame others for having control over our lives, but, in reality, we give them that control every time we are afraid to step forward and express our choices.
This past February 2005, was declared Psychology Month, and marked the first annual celebration of profession of psychology in our province! No longer limited to a grey-haired, bespeckled image of an individual studying rats in a cage, psychology is a helping profession that aims to enable each person, couple and organization to gain their peace with what is good and possible.
The way we live and interact each day comes from our psychology, impacting both our experiences and others’ experiences of us. The benefits from understanding and developing our psyche are huge. There is one caveat – acting intentionally. Not that it’s ever too late to live better, but why suffer unnecessarily when there is everything to gain?
If you would like a piece of the good life, consider what you are willing to invest in it…then do it! For further information about accessing psychological services, you can contact the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta referral service at (780) 424-0294, or 1-888-424-0297. You will receive the name of three psychologists who practice in the area of expertise you need.
For more information contact:
Pierre Berube, Executive Director
Psychologists’ Association of Alberta
(780) 424-0294 1-888-424-0297
pberube@psychologistsassociation.ab.ca
Dr. Colleen Mac Dougall
Chartered Psychologist
(780) 482-7515
